RaysOfTheNight
by Vendari
Summary: "No, I've seen too many die. Countless times, in countless ways. I won't let it happen again. I have to save them, no matter the cost. Even if it means loosing myself. Because I can't loose them."   This is the story of how i died.
1. Prologue

**This is going to be a long story. Its my first fanfic. I've been thinking about writing it for a while. **

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."

-Eskimo Proverb

...

Pain. Pain. It was all I could feel. Every inch of my body was in excruciating pain. And then the agony turned to nothingness and it consumed me with a blinding light. I know death is upon me and all I can think of is that I never got to live, I'm dying and what little time I had on Earth was wasted. I took it for granted, and now it was all gone. Funny, how it is that we only know what it is that we have when where about to loose it. The girl, at least I saved her. And I knew I did the right thing. No matter what happened, no matter the cost, I didn't regret it. Even though I'm facing death, I wouldn't change it. I would do it again. My life was worth so little. I could always see that. At least I made it worth it, no matter how small this is, this single deed I did not regret.

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	2. Heaven

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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"If I ever reach heaven I expect to find three wonders there: first, to meet some I had not thought to see there; second, to miss some I had expected to see there; and third, the greatest wonder of all, to find myself there" -quote

...

Chapter 1: Heaven

-flashback-

I was driving home from my friend's house. By now you could practically see the sky darkening. I need to get home. My dad is going to be mad if I'm late again. Of course I wouldn't be late if Eleck, my friend, didn't keep me out so long. She could talk for hours and never get bored. But she was one of the few people I could count on. Ugh. I'm going to be late again. My dad will ground me for sure.

I sped up to the next street. There all deserted anyway. And I can't miss my plans Saturday because I'm grounded. Eleck would kill me for sure. I took a right and looked out my dark windshield into the night.

"No, no. Stop. Take anything. Just leave me alone," whimpering "please...". The sound emanated through the crisp night air.

Oh my god! What was that!I looked to my left. Nothing. Then I turned and saw it. I skidded to a stop with a screech and jumped out.

"Leave her alone", I commanded with more courage than I felt.

The man standing in front of me simply smiled. He was holding a girl I knew from school. Allie, Amy, I didn't know. The name escaped me. She was a quiet girl, but nice.

Everything was coming to me in a brilliant clarity. I could hear every sound and see everything in slow motion. All this happened in a couple moments.

"Well, weeeell. What do weeee have heeeeere?", he grunted out, then smiled, "Coming to join the party?"

Before I could respond he bashed her on the head and was coming for me. As he approached I could tell he was drunk. He smelled of alcohol and thick cologne and wore a winkled dark jacket . I grimaced now only realizing my disposition. But I have to stop him. The girl couldn't die, not like this. She was so young, so innocent. She was nice and smart. She was good. I took a step forward.

"Go home, you don't want this, trust me." I said softly. I really knew what I was saying. And I don't want to go back there. It was horrible. I could feel understanding showwing through my eyes, and for a second I thought I got through to him. My heart was jumping out of my chest and I could feel every breath. "It will ruin your life, you can still turn back, you don't have to do this," I sputtered.

"Whyyyy of cooouuurrsssse I dooooo..." he spit out drunkenly. "I haaaave a wiiiiitnesss now, and I wouldn't want them to not feel welllllcomed, now would Iiiiiiiiiiii?" he slurred. Of course not. Why don't they ever listen?

Then everything happened very fast. He came for me, and I sidestepped to the left. He fell with a grunt and I chanced a quick glance at the girl. Still breathing, but unconscious. When I looked back he was already up and charging. My sorry ass didn't stand a chance. Not against someone his size. I whipped out my phone and punched in 911.

Then he pulled something out and a loud sound protruded throughout the still darkness. I could see lights coming around the corner.

And then another bang.

And then I felt the cold ground.

And then voices and yells and sirens, all making a complicated music. The man tried to flee but didn't get far in his drunken state.

And then I saw nothing.

-end flashback-

At least I saved her. She'll grow up and live a long and happy life. I guess I did one thing right.

The blinding light left me without sight, even in my own mind. My senses were slowly fading. One by one, they all disappeared. First was obviously sight, then taste, as I could feel the taste of my own blood in my mouth. It had a salty rust taste and it made me thirsty. Smell went with it and then sound. And then feeling in my body left me and I was left weightless to the outside world. And then all ceased. Now even my heartbeat was gone. This is weird. Its like I'm here, but not. Now what? Am I doomed to an eternity of loneliness and solitude in an endless abyss of nothingness? Its like theres nothing, but everything. No sound but at the same time there was thousands of them roaring across the air. How can this be? I need to find my way back, or just some place other than this. I have my own consciousness don't I? I willed my self to awake. Slowly my senses came back. I tried to speak, but all that came out was a whisper. What is this place? Where am I? It doesn't seem like Hell, but it doesn't seem like Heaven either. There is no happiness, or pain. I simply felt numb to the outside world. I tried again, this time with more effort.

"Hhhello...?" It came out, but only a barely audible whisper. "Where am I?"

"Your in the Inbetween my child." said a loving resounding voice. It pulled me to my new reality and I became aware of my surroundings. A wide pale blue sky. A soft pale ground that I could identify as the tops of condensed clouds. Little patches of the sky shown through. There was a pathway that I stood on that seemed safe enough.

"You've died and now you will find out where you will go. Don't worry, it will all make since soon, just follow me." He turned and I wanted to stand, and then I was. I looked down at my body and gasped. My once slightly tanned skin was now a glowing alabaster and I wore all white. My lucid arms could faintly seem to sparkle.

Where did he go? Ugh. Even in death I have bad luck. I looked around for him , without success, and then I made my way where he had started to and found my self in a corridor of creams and soft bleached woods. Its beautiful, mesmerizing even. Nothing too scary yet.

I passed many doors all the same but entirely different at the same time. One was the same pale color and size and shape as the others, but as I neared it, hopelessness consumed me. It was unsettling. I quickened my pace and the feeling soon vanished with the door.

Another was peculiar. As I approached it, I suddenly had to open it. I needed to. No one will notice. But then also a foreboding feeling accompanied it, lingering like a bad aftertaste. I'm just, just so tempted, to peer inside and look. It almost pains me.

"Raven", I jumped and looked at the newcomer. "How nice to finally meet you in person."

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	3. Falling

**AN- the Cullens wont be in the story for a while, but they will be. Also, sorry if I don't update for a while, I'll be gone on a trip.**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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"If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character...Would you slow down? Or speed up?"

-Chuck Palahniuk

...

"Raven", I jumped and looked at the newcomer. "How nice to finally meet you in person."

Chapter 2: Falling

I gasped, he was beautiful. He had curled blond locks that framed his heavenly face tanned to perfection. He wore all white, just like me, but also a pendant of a moon and sun. He held himself with an authoritative stance that demanded respect but also he had a loving face that betrayed that he wasn't heartless, just the opposite. All in all he was angelic. Wow, of course he is an angel, I'm dead aren't I?

I moved my gaze back to his blue eyes and realized he was waiting for something. Oh.

"Yes... do you know where it is I'm supposed to go? I've seem to have lost the man I was supposed to follow." I choked out. How embarrassing. I must have been gazing at him for a long moment, just long enough to make it awkward. But he seemed to not be fazed by it.

"Right here is where you are supposed to be, for now at least." His demeanor only faltered a little in his smile. "Now we must discuss your future..."

He seemed like a lonely fellow. How long has he been here, doing this? So many people he must have helped, and yet he can't move on like them. How sad, to be doomed to exist here alone.

And then he clicked his fingers and a ornate room made up of whites and golds appeared and encompassed us. He walked behind a grand desk and jestured to sit down. I let my gaze fall and could see that a chair had materialized beneath me. As I sat our eyes sought out each others and he began.

"Do you know where you are?"

"Yes...", I said too calmly, "I'm dead and I know I need to find out wherever it is that I'm supposed to go to."

"Ah, well yes you are in fact deceased but that is what we need to discuss. You gave up your life for another, did you not?", he breathed, " And you have died because of said act?" he said with a hint of sorrow.

I responded with a nod. I couldn't speak, I was kind of in shock at the moment. My voice will have to wait. I was kind of running on auto pilot by this point. I mean who wouldn't be a little shocked by this, their own death!

"Well", a deep breath, "you did the right thing, I believe. But you gave up your life for someone you hardly knew. If you could, would you change it?"

Never. I shook my head. His smile widened a little at the corners.

"It seems that you have died on Friday, November 12, 2010 at 11:56pm." He looked over at me again. "That makes you what? Seventeen years old?" He let out a long sigh. "The thing is... you weren't supposed to die yet. Infact, as I can see here..." a book of an enormous size suddenly appeared and he opened it. He traced what he was looking for with his long finger. "Yes, yes. You were supposed to live much longer." He looked at me with a quick glance. But it disarmed me. It was filled with amazement and a thousand questions filled his eyes. "Now it is of course your choice if you want to go back."

I cut him off. "What?" I sputtered. "Why?" This was crazy. How could I go back? I mean, how many dead people do you see walking around?

"You did not complete what you were meant to do, it seems. So now I will send you back to Earth to finish what your destined to do."

And then I started thinking of all the things that I wanted to do. Anyone would want to have more time. Who wouldn't want another chance? I could go to all those places that I never got to see, like Japan and Canada and Italy and everywhere else. I would make my time precious and I would cherish my time here on Earth. I could run and play and feel the sun on my face once more. I never thought about how much that could be worth. To think that I obliviously chose to miss all these opportunities that were given to me. Maybe one last stroll on the beach. Or one last family dinner. One last chance to say goodbye.

And most of all, I never got to feel wanted. At school, yes, I had some friends. And even a couple admirers, but they didn't like me for who I really was, probably just some thing they liked on the outside facade that everyone sees when you give someone only a fleeting glance. But I never met anyone for me. Never knew what it was like to be held or to be someones whole world. Never to know all those things that you get to experience in life as you get older. I... I never got a chance to meet my love.

I swallowed.

Wow, most people don't know what it is they have until they loose it. And right now, I have a chance to go back. And he said that I didn't finish something. What does he mean? What could I possibly do, a lone girl from Wyoming?

"So I have a choice? And I can go back if I want to?" I asked in amazement. He is basically handing over a once in a lifetime chance, a priceless opportunity to me, and then asking if I might want it.

"Yes. Life itself is a choice because it is also a test in itself. Now how would it be fare if I took it away?"

Is this what I want? What the hell am I asking myself. Yes! It has to be if I didn't 'finish'. I can only hope that what is instore for me will not be bad. Well not too bad. I can't hope that life would give me nothing but joy.

"So what is your choice? Remember, you can NOT go back." He said reverently. He shifted his gaze downward. Pain showed in his eyes.

He probably did something he regrets dearly. And I don't think it was minor, no it had to be big. I wonder what happened to him. Cursed to such a painful existence. I wish that I could do something.

Its just so painful to see someone else in pain, especially when you can't do anything.

"I..., I want to go back to Earth." I said solidly. I'm sure about this.

"Splendid!", life came back into his eyes, " but you won't be the same, when you go back, that is. It will be different." , he explained, "You see, you have already died so your body has changed and can't be changed back to exactly how you were. You will go back as you do now, in the Inbetweeen.", he looked at my whole frame, "But you will be alive again, soon." , He shuddered, "But there are things that you need to be aware of. First off, there are very few, if any, other beings out on Earth that will be like you, so don't plan on meeting anybody in your same position. Also, you will have certain gifts that will help you on your journey, but they are unique to every individual so you will have to find that out on your own. These will help you reach your destination.

Gifts huh, doesn't sound so bad, as long as I don't get caught. I can't begin to imagine what would happen if some scientists got a hold of me. It makes me shudder at the thought. Uhhh. But what about not having exactly the same appearance? Maybe not so much.

"What do you mean? I won't be the same?" There something else.

"...And, like all others that have died, you will have wings." He let out.

I gasped, shocked. Thats, that, that is just so, so... cool! Now those I can get used to.

"They will be quite large , since you will be able to fly with them. Judging by your size, I'd say about a 15 foot wingspan. And all wings are different, from person to person. But the colors stand for certain things, like white would stand for innocence, and a mix of reds and oranges would stand for pain. Blue stands for sorrow and so on. But since you are a special one and will be going to Earth, your main feathers will stay one color and only the tips will change color." He explained.

I sat there trying to rap my mind around it. I mean, wings? Thats amazing, and will be useful. But it might be hard hiding them. When do I start? I might enjoy this.

"Also," he continued, "time has passed since you have arrived here. Since time is different for us, it could have been anywhere from a couple of seconds to a year since your death Earth time." He explained. "Just remember, not everyone gets a second chance." He swallowed deeply. "Now lets be on our way..." He clicked his fingers and we were once again surrounded by a cloudy terrain. We both stood a short distance from the path.

I looked at him, and I had to ask. "What happened to you?"

His smile crumpled into a grimace of pain. " Well, long ago, I died and I... I couldn't go back. You see, I had a special one. I loved her very much, but I was ripped apart from her..." he let out a strangled sob. "I died very young, so I asked if I could stay here and wait for her. And they saw my pain, how much I longed to be with her, and agreed. They gave me this amulet..." He held up his necklace of a moon and a sun. "And they told me I could see her with it, that I could watch over her through it. And I can. I still do. You see, she is very old now. And I know I will be reunited soon..." Through his pain, a small glimmer of hope showed through.

"Is there any way I could do something for you?" I asked.

He looked up and eyed me with a new light. "No one has ever... no one ever offered anything to help before. If, if you could, would you give her a note." He took a very old envelope, tattered and almost falling apart with age and ware. And then he took out a also very old necklace. Suspended on it was a antique ornate ring. And then I suddenly realized that it must have been a weding ring, he must have never got to take her hand. "And give her this with it. It would mean the world to me."

He said with trust and longing.

"Of course." I said softly.

"Her name is Mary Swallows. Please send her my love." He said on the verge of sobbing.

I took it silently and hugged him as a promise.

"Here, put it in this." He said. He handed me a worn pale satchel.

When he was back to his reserved self, he said. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry. My name is Nicholas Enders Stateton. But you can call me Enders." He offered a friendly smile. "Now... are you ready?" He asked.

I took a deep breath. Yes, now or never. I exhaled raggedly. "Yes..." I said simply.

"Off you go then."

He pushed me off the cloud and I fell through one of the gaps where you could see for hundreds of miles down. I gave a yelp out of surprise. Ouch. Well I guess I wouldn't have jumped, thats for sure. But still. I felt air wiz by my face and I looked downward. How high was I? My god, please don't let my phobia of heights get in the way now. Fear consumed me. As hard as I tried, a terrified scream escaped my lips. And then I could feel myself gaining speed. I'm going to crash! How will I even survive the landing? I'm going to die! I'm going to die again! And then somehow I gained even more speed. I'm basically braking the sound barrier here! Wait! My wings! I tried to find them but I was too close. I shot down in a brilliant flash and blacked out.

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	4. Memories

**AN-hey guys. sorry for such a short chapter. if there shorter than i can update more often.**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

-Oscar Wilde

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I shot down in a brilliant flash and blacked out.

Chapter :Memories

Feeling slowly started coming back to me. I was lying in that peaceful state of half slumber, enjoying the content feeling only achieved at this time. Thoughts slowly began forming in my head. Hmmmmmm... I better get to school. Then I rolled over and I felt something weird. I felt my brow scrunch up. Thats odd. I forced myself to wake up. Its too quiet, somethings off. And then I felt it. Suddenly a very painful thump started in my chest. Thump. My hand clutched my chest. It hurts so much. Thump, thump. Each thump shot an excruciating pain through my body. Thump, thump. I can't take it. Its unbearable. Thump, thump. I fell to the hard ground and shut my eyes. The thrumming continued as I lay in pain, it was so bad I couldn't even think, couldn't move. Then a smooth voice made its self known.

"Raven, it will pass. Soon, I promise."

Who was that? I thought through the pain. What is this pain?

"Don't worry. Its me, Enders." said the voice. " and its your heart. It has to start back up someway." he said regretfully.

My eyes searched through the pain for him, but he was nowhere to be found. How could he even come down here? I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth as another agonizing spasm of pain shot through me.

"No one else can hear me, its all inside your head.", he explained, " I can only speak to you now because you have passed through the Inbetween. I can only offer my knowledge, unfortunately. Just... lay down for now. Be still, it will pass." His voice said sadly.

Well that was helpful. Eyes closed I soon drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

…

When I awoke I bolted up. I was surrounded in a dim forest with no life for miles. The silence was like a brick wall. The chill in the air brushed my skin like it sought out to chill every part of my being. I shivered. And then I remembered, I remembered everything. My hands quickly clutched my aching head. It hurts. How... how is this possible? It can't, it just cant be. I put my hand over my chest. I felt a steady rhythm. I reached out to touch the nearest tree. My arm pulled back immediately. It was real. This all is real. I can't believe what has happened. Its all like a far away distant dream. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Theres so much to do. And where am I? I looked around for some kind of distinction of civilization. My eyes fell upon a old tree and my face lit up. The old tree house. I haven't seen this for years. It seems like a lifetime ago. Back when things where simpler, easier. Childhood. And even after those years I came back. Me and Eleck had so many fun times, it was a place where my best friend and I could just get away.

"Why, I haven't seen you in a while." I said to myself.

I made my way toward my haven. I climbed the old tree's deteriorating limbs and stood on a protruding limb. I quickly got the key from under our hiding spot and slid it into the lock. The lock clicked and I made my way inside. At least this hasn't changed. My gaze roamed the small room, over the small wooden table and the old chairs, past the window, and then it fell on a small box.

"Thats peculiar." I strode across the expanse and stood before the thing. I bent down to see it and I almost fell over. Thats... thats Eleck's favorite box. The one where she kept her most valuable things locked away in, from everyone else. She wouldn't even let me see inside. Whats it doing here?

I grabbed a chair and sat down with it on my lap. At a closer inspection I saw something newly engraved on the small wooden lid. As I tried to read my friends sloppy handwriting I froze. For it read this:

To Raven, My best Friend.

The last word was very hard to read and etched deep into the wood. I found the corner of a note sticking out of the opening and pulled it out. It said:

Happy Birthday Best Friend! Wow! 17 already? I'm so exited! Cough- that may or may not have anything to do with me soon turning 17-cough. Or this present. :D Your the bestest, amazing friend I could ask for. I hope you like my present. I know it isn't much, but I wanted to give you something special, something I've been thinking about a long time.

PS: Your taking me with u with the tickets you get from your dad. Oops! Don't read this until after u open your dad's present!

From Eleck, your favorite weirdo! :D … or at least I better be. ):C  
As I read it my lips formed into a small smile as a feeling of nostalgia filled me.

"Eleck is the same as ever." I whispered to myself. And then it felt like I was forgetting something. What is it? Uummmm... And then I froze with realization. Of course. That must explain this box. I don't know how long I've been gone. I could have been gone for years! What if everyone I knew is old now? Or even dead! Ok. Enders said that I had wings didn't he? Maybe I could fly high up and see if I know where I am.

I put the box back where I found it and walked to the door. The tree house was built only half way up the tree so I climbed up to the top. Now I just need to figure this out. I balanced on the branch I was on and felt my back. Soft feathers formed a large shape. I turned my head to get a better look but couldn't see. I tried to move my wings and they moved a little. I pushed them out and with a loud rip they tore trough the back of my shirt. I finally had a clear view of it. They were a dark black color. They were the darkest color of night.

"Beautiful." I whispered. For the first time since this began I felt a small smile tugging at my lips.

Then I got a idea. I perched myself on the highest branch that I could find.

I took a deep breath, the crisp air rejuvenating me.

Then with all my strength, I jumped.

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